Behaviors that Negatively Affect Marriage

Behaviors that Negatively Affect Marriage

This week we discussed some behaviors that can be damaging to marriages. I think everyone, whether married or not knows that marriage is hard! It takes a lot of work, and you have to be willing to put in the effort. As we learned last week, marriage is not 50/50. Each partner should be giving 100% to the other. Overcoming the natural man is a lifelong challenge. Learning to overcome that, especially is a married relationship can be difficult. This is when we have to rely on the Lord.

We watched clips from the movie FireProof which is about this couple who is having marriage problems. The main point of the clips that I got was that you have to be willing to be humble. You can’t hold grudges and you need to be willing to work. Being able to put your pride to the side and make efforts. In the beginning they were making passive aggressive comments, not communicating whatsoever, and going to others for advice on their marriage. By the end, they realized that they needed to put sincere and honest effort. They got married for a reason and i really felt that a main point of this movie was for them to truly fall back in love again.

I really like what Gottman’s research that shows being in a friendship with your significant other is so important. I have always heard that you not only need to be physically attracted to your spouse but they need to be your best friend! Someone you don’t want to be apart from, who you want to help, lift, serve and love. When you have that foundation I think it makes you want to try harder when those difficult times do come, because they will.

I’m not married but right now I can take from this week the importance of being friends with a potential spouse. That way you are more likely to have a successful happy marriage. What do you married people suggest for when seeking out a spouse? What are your experience when hard times come in your marriage?